Scott is an 18 year old from New Brunswick, Canada, who is trying to find his place in the world. Growing up both as gay and a person with Asperger's Syndrome, life for him hasn't always been easy.
Over the past year, he has taken the time to stop and reflect upon his complicated past by writing in his journal and by seeking guidance from the kindest of strangers he meets on the Internet. He is currently in the process of coming out and will experience life on the other side of the closet for the first time since coming to terms with his homosexuality when he starts college at the beginning of September as an openly gay man.
Scott wishes to help anybody who reaches out to him first, weather it be on the basis of sexual orientation or a different personal struggle in life (although he doesn't mind intervening and sending out advice, without an invitation, to those who he feels need it most.)
He has enrolled in Art Fundamentals this year at NBCC Miramichi, and so most of his posts in the coming months will probably be of the various projects he undertakes within his program of choice. You will also most likely see a lot of gay selfies... Yeps, a lot of them. (Self-absorbed freak *cough cough*)
Follow his journey from the lonely solitude of his closet to the joint wildness of the open world.
"This is a place to hide me in."
I can’t believe there are people who experienced the best years of their life in high school
I think that the most beautiful word to describe something tough like depression is ‘ebbing’ (verb.) or ‘an ebb’ (noun).
It means to experience a period of weakness or lack of vigour, but it can also mean the flowing back of the tide from high to low water or the period in which this takes place.
What it really says is that depression is not a permanent thing:
"All hope is not lost; I’m only ebbing."
You know what’s bad?
When you need to use the bathroom but don’t want to leave the computer…
That’s pretty bad.
The snow sifts,
Slowly turning beneath my feet
My bones break,
My heart aches,
And although I can’t speak
I still sing
song onto the moon.
Time flows quickly this close to Christmas, or slowly depending on how you look at it, and I’m not sure which of the two applies itself more in this situation.
My days at college slip by far too fast, like an hour glass with a midsection that’s stretched far too wide and prematurely marks the passing of the hour with a sly face.
My evenings at home, however, drag on relentlessly into the night, precipitating in my sleep an infinity which holds me prisoner in a village that refuses to accept me for who I am—gay.
The threat of isolation from the rest is far to strong here in my hometown, and the gravitational appeal of life in the city is something that I’m feeling more than ever now. I want to flee. I want to up and leave this place and all of its tantilising memories behind me in my wake. I want to create my own roads and dig my own passageways through life, without having to answer to the soured faces of my parents who are sure to regard my actions and life decisions with distaste. And, had I the financial security and independence, I would do it now.
OMG. No more tumblr for me. Not until Christmas break, I swear! (Mustn’t waist time like this!)
Sorry got confused ... Hows college and all being openly gay?
No, I think I understood your first message to me (no worries).
To this point, my first year of college has been an interesting experience, I do believe. Growing up in a small community in rural New Brunswick means that I never really had the chance to see that it was anyway possible for an individual to live an openly gay life and still feel safe. My class is really cool about it (there are 3 other students in my class of around 18 people—two lesbians and one bisexual male—who are openly gay) and I feel that there isn’t many incidents where people have treat me differently because of it.
I came out to around a third of the class on the first day, and in the afternoon of the second day, I sort of came out to the rest of everyone else. :S It was in our Story Telling course, and when we were asked to do an artistic interpretation of what brought us to this college to study in either the fields of art or video game design, I illustrated a condensed version of my journey to becoming an artist on a large sheet of newsprint paper using a china marker, and when it was my turn, had gotten another student to go before the the lecture theater and hold it where all eyes could see.
In my impromptu speech, I started off by talking about where my interest in art began: I told them how I would watch Disney animations and such as a child, fantasizing and day dreaming about how it was they were made. Then, as I moved on to describing my elementary years, I told the class how I used to put a great deal of effort into any crafts that we were doing because I wanted so badly to make a strong appeal to the other students … because I thought that it was the only way people would take notice of me … because I believed that I didn’t have many friends …
At that point, the speech shifted from being about my journey in art to being about a full on battle for acceptance in a community that would not tolerate my differences, etc.
Somewhere close to the end of my very personal rant, I looked down toward the stage and noticed that not much of what I was saying had actually matched up with the images I had drawn on the banner that the female student who had offered to help me was now struggling to hold comfortably in her trembling hands.
I was embarrassed. The words just kind of flowed and it was never my intention to disclose so much personal information while standing in the middle of a crowd as large as them. I thought that I had made a very strange first impression and was worried sick about it what the other students made of it for the rest of that first week in college.
Looking back though, I know that it was what needed to happen; I just had to get it off my chest. As soon as was finished speaking and had taken my seat, a girl sitting next to me leaned over and whispered, "You did great, and … about the whole bullying thing, I understand how you feel. I was bullied too."
During my first month of school, I had student after student come up to me and disclose all sorts of personal issues they were having: I was told about the negative effects someone was going through after a recent death in their immediate family, I was shown hidden scars from a student who had self harmed, etc.
Students seem to trust me because they see that I have nothing to hide. In a way, me and a couple of other students have worked together to forge the foundations for an environment where everyone is free to speak their mind and no one lives in the fear of being judged. None seem to care that I am gay; to them, it is irrelevant to my worth as a human being (which is the way things ought to be!) It feels great.
I really don't know what to say but I'm straight and I support Gay Lesbian Bisexual all of it because in y opinion love is love your no different and I feel very connected to you because I feel like you truly get it you're inspiring to me because I know how it feels to be judged and I feel like no matter how sad you get you try and stay positive and I literally find you as a good person and I'm supporting you all the way and if you need a friend any time I'm here always and anytime you need me😊
Your message of support means a lot to me. To say that you feel that you and I are connected in some way gives me a sense that I am little more loved than I believe. It also gives me hope that time will heal things for the two of us, as you say that you have experienced judgment of some degree yourself. I think that this has been the kindest entree into my inbox I have yet received and I thank you for it. God bless.
how does one tell a boy that one likes him
I am a boy and have a foolproof plan for this:
- text them and start playing one of those 20q games
- if they start being a dodgy fella drop em
- if they ask “You like anyone?”
reply Yeah, you.
- If they give you a negative reply sayin they dont like you back then just correct yourself to “*Yeah, you?”
dude that is genius
slow clappin’ it out.
Someone actually did this to me … in the exact same way this post describes how someone would go about doing it.
i just found out my (female) cousin has a girlfriend
i wish i could message her like
but if YOU’RE the gay cousin
and I’M the gay cousin
THEN WHO’S DRIVING THE CAR???
Imma try dis an see what happens…
OMG! DO NOT TRY TO SEND THIS MESSAGE TO YOUR GAY COUSIN, I SWEAR TO GOD! IMMEDIATELY AFTER I SENT HER THAT, THESE THREE MESSAGES WENT INTO MY INBOX:
THIS WAS HER POST: